It is extremely sad, even tragic, that one member of the country’s LGBTQ+ community from Cebu could cause untold damage to the tens of thousands who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or simply crossdresser.

All because he made such a big deal when a waiter addressed him as ‘sir.’

In fact, I hate to write about Jude Bacalso as it has become quite clear that he enjoys all the attention he’s been getting over social media, even negative comments bring him some kind of perverted pleasure.

And having been a resident of San Francisco many years ago, I am also aware that the US LGBTQ+ community may disagree with me most vehemently as the city by the Bay is the global center of that group of generally good people.

But the Philippines is not the US, and vice versa, especially where gay rights is concerned.

And for the record, I do have a number of relatives and friends who are openly gay. There are also a couple of lesbians who I can consider friends. So there.

There’s a law pending in Congress known as the SOGIE bill, short for Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression. (Yes, it should correctly be called SOGIGE, but that’s not important.) It’s been filed in multiple Congresses, and every time support for it has grown, to the point that it appeared ready to be passed into law in the near future.

If I’m not mistaken, even the sister of the president, Senator Imee Marcos, has expressed her support for the bill. There is also at least one member of the House who is a transgender, and who has performed well as a lawmaker.

Unfortunately, the histrionics of Bacalso may have had a detrimental effect on the proposed law. In my own way, I have been supportive of the possible law, but now have second thoughts.

For as long as there are entitled gays like Bacalso, I believe the LGBTQ+ community will have to wait. I see a good number of them being abusive to non-gays if SOGIE ever became a law.

I do not know Mr. Bacalso personally nor do I have any intention of meeting him for any reason, valid or otherwise. I honestly abhor this person, not only because he figuratively tortured a poor waiter by publicly embarrassing him for the crime of calling the gay man ‘sir.’ For almost two hours, he lectured the food server to the consternation of the people who were dining at the restaurant and who witnessed the sickening sight.

It was tantamount to a white master preparing his black slave for a whipping for serving him lukewarm coffee. It was an act of cruelty that was totally uncalled for.

Do I regret my own comments over social media, some of which were too vicious and over the top? No I do not.

For as long as I can remember, I have always hated bullies. I once nearly came to blows against a relative who I saw was bullying a kid when we were having drinks in a bar. And I once committed one unfortunate act of bullying against a guy who was sort of a friend, which I regret to this day. I can no longer make amends as that person passed away a long time ago.

Bacalso can say that he has already apologized, but he has since taken down that half-baked apology because many perceived it as coming from his mouth and not his heart. It was as insincere as it gets.

And yes, I will still continue to refer to Bacalso as him, because as far as I’m concerned, he remains a male unless and until he has a sex change operation.

I refer to the former Bruce Jenner as she because this former Olympic great took the big leap, which was a pretty ballsy move. So yes, the now Caitlyn Jenner is a hundred percent woman in my book.

Bacalso is just one ugly man who insists he’s a pretty woman, as far as I’m concerned. And thousands, literally thousands, of Filipinos agree with me. One simply has to read the reactions over social media, specifically Facebook, where he has received little, if any, support for his actions against the waiter.

Many ask the obvious. They ask, 1) Do you have a uterus? 2) Do you lactate? 3) Where do you urinate in the mall or restaurant where you make your presence known? And, best of all, 4) What gender does your birth certificate and school records say?

In his defence, Bacalso has also taken to insulting everyone who has commented negatively against him, calling them “hampas lupa” or dirt poor. He does not know that even millionaires are either laughing at him, or detest him for being what he is – an entitled jerk.

This shows that the sad little man who considers himself a celebrity in his native Cebu is totally bereft of class. He is, instead, loud, crass, and insensitive.

His ten minutes of fame will soon come to an end, and he will go back to trying to ingratiate himself to the socialites of Cebu, who will most likely grudgingly welcome him to their functions, while secretly mocking him behind his back, or worse.

Meanwhile, the damage has been done.

Rightly or wrongly, he will be considered as being representative of all Filipino gays, lesbians, etc. most of whom are decent human beings.

Perhaps in a few years, the SOGIE bill will become law, as well it should. But Jude Bacalso should have no reason to celebrate, as he more than anyone was the reason the bill took so long to pass.

In fact, for the bill to become law faster, I humbly suggest that the Philippine LGBTQ+ community should unify and tell Bacalso to lay low for the next few years, mind his own business, and perhaps head to the nearest church and confess his sins.

Countless Filipinos will not want to forgive him, but I’m pretty sure God will. But only after he has met with the waiter whom he humiliated, and sincerely apologized.

Getting down on his knees might help.